As you probably know by now, I had a vertaplasty surgery last week (where they injected cement into my L4 and L5 vertebrae to stabilize them from further collapse). The surgery itself was incredibly successful, and the intense pain I’d been experiencing due to the collapsing vertebrae has been completely cured. I no longer need any pain medication! Praise the Lord!

But the bad news is that instead of simply finding fractures and collapsing vertebrae, they discovered that the tumor in my back had returned, with a vengeance. The good part, again, is that without the surgery we wouldn’t have discovered the reality of what was going on. It’s certainly a bummer, but I’m glad we discovered the truth.

And so, with this new development, we’ve had to up our attack on this tumor. I have stopped taking the oral chemo drug we thought was working … because it wasn’t. Obviously. And within just a few days of surgery, I started chemotherapy and radiation again. And frankly, it sucks. Last week’s chemo infusion left me really sick. On top of that, the tumor is playing my nerves like a complicated symphony. I have such significant neuropathy in both my legs that I am now using a walker to get around. I can’t even describe how frustrating it is to be so weak. Honestly, I am still working on adjusting myself to my new state of being. I have lots of help, which is awesome. But what I wouldn’t give to be able to walk by myself!

Historically, this tumor responds really well to chemo and radiation, so there is real hope that within a few weeks the neuropathy will begin to dissipate. But it’s a little experimental too, and there is no guarantee my legs will get better. And I want desperately for my legs to get better! I don’t need to climb mountains or run marathons, but being able to just walk to the bathroom and get dressed without help would be lovely.

So I’m in for ten rounds of radiation (every weekday for two weeks) and nine rounds of chemo (2 down, 7 to go). I will lose my hair again (and I just got it back, and was even feeling like I was rocking the grey!). Chemo and radiation together are going to make me really tired, and sometimes sick. It makes engaging in life difficult.

My prayers are for a couple things: First – that the treatments would WORK and this tumor would shrink to NOTHING and let go of my nerves and I would regain significant strength in my legs. Second – that in the process I would have enough energy to really give to my husband and kids. Third – that I would continue to lean on the Lord and his strength to get through it all. And that I would continue to see his plans and trust in them.

If you’ve never seen the inside of the radiation room, here it is! I lay on that table, remain inhumanly still, and that giant machine rotates and whirs and makes little noises for a couple minutes, and I’ve been radiated! It’s the most science-fiction-y part of my treatment. I feel like Buzz Lightyear might as well be in there shooting me with his little light bulb laser. And yet … it works! (This pic is from a few weeks ago when I was getting radiation on the cancer found in my knee – which is feeling TONS better!)