So … I got a tattoo. Two tattoos actually. At almost 40 years old I’ve finally done something impulsive and potentially regrettable and rebellious. Only … it wasn’t any of those things. Because at nearly 40 years old I think long and hard about my impulses, so that when they’re executed I don’t regret them. And with the permission of those closest to me, there was nothing all that rebellious about it, either. Although I’m sure to come across a few who might look at me sideways.

For years I’ve thought about getting a tattoo. Why? No great profound reason … I just like them, and I think they can be tastefully done. My brother has several very cool tattoos. It just wasn’t something I was going to do until I had a really good idea. A tattoo is not something that should be done on a whim. But over the past six months, I finally settled on an idea I really liked.

You see, I’ve been through much in my life … years lived overseas, single longer than I wanted, a rough time moving home from living overseas, a home lost because of unemployment, kids really close together, and most recently, breast cancer. These experiences (and so many more) are just what life is made of. But you can either grow from them, or not. I have mostly chosen growth, though sometimes it took a while to get to that point.

A long time ago, during my years overseas in fact, I came across a verse in Deuteronomy, as the Israelites were getting ready to conquer the many tribes living in their Promised Land. Chapter 31, verse 8 says, “The Lord himself goes before you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged.” I’ve always loved that image, of the Lord not only standing beside me, but already having been where I was about to go.

One book over, in Joshua, chapter 1, verse 9, God tells Joshua, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Strong and Courageous. Not just something we are allowed to be because we have God on our side, but something we are COMMANDED to be. We have God with us … every step of the way. As Christians, we should be the strongest and most courageous people alive. We fight alongside the armies of God.

Through the years, and so many rough times, this theme has persisted.

The other thing that has been a constant theme in my life, especially as a self-sufficient, intelligent, reasonable person who thinks she can always fight her own battles … is that sometimes the fight is not ours to fight. It is the Lord’s. Exodus 14:14 says “The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.” And of course we all know Psalm 46:10 which says, “Be still, and know that I am God…”

Two commands: Be still. Be strong and courageous. It makes me think of the Lion and the Lamb.

And so, now they are tattooed on my person. On my wrists, they’re in a spot I can easily read them, and so can everyone else. I hope people will ask me about them. For the Lord has taught me a lot in my short 39-plus years. And I want to be a testimony and a blessing to anyone who comes across me and my tattooed wrists.

That is all.

Heidi

P.S. OK … there’s a little bit more. A few reasons for a tattoo:

1. I like them. I think they’re cool. And inside, whether you know it or not, I’m a little bit rocker, a little bit crazy, and as a goody-goody all my life, I think its a fairly safe way to do something a little wild.

2. After cancer especially, but also as I near my 40s, and a new stage of a more settled life, I have become ever more sure of myself, of who I am and what I want. And the more sure you are of yourself, the less you worry about what anyone else will think. Also, the closer your brush with mortality, the more you understand that NOW may be the only time we have. That bucket list? Now is the time to start checking things off.

3. I wanted a “stone of remembrance,” an “Ebenezer” if you will, to be reminded of all God has done in my life (and will be faithful to continue!). I Samuel 7:12 says “Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.'” Although there are other ways to commemorate God’s work in my life, and I suppose I could have just written on a stone, I wanted a tattoo. It’s a pretty permanent Ebenezer, one that I will carry with me always (or, on me, I suppose).

P.P.S. This is quite likely NOT my last tattoo experience. Just FYI.