I know it’s been ages since I’ve written an update, and there are a lot of you who aren’t aware of the latest turn my cancer has chosen to take. So here is the latest …
In the Spring I started experiencing some pretty intense headaches, coupled with some serious kinks in my neck and upper back. I could hardly turn my neck. The average person takes some OTC ibuprofin or tylenol and maybe calls their masseuse. Me? I call my oncologist. My oncologist hospitalizes me for a week, and orders a million tests.
And so, I “enjoyed” a 6-night stay in the hospital. I had a CT Scan, an MRI of the brain, and biopsy of fluids in my lower back and spine, fluids which were retrieved by a spinal tap (perhaps the worst procedure I’ve experienced yet). I also had what’s called an “Ommaya reservoir” put in my head (click on the link for more info). I also went through 10 more days of radiation, this time focused on the lower back portion of my brain.
In order to make sure my head was in the same position every day, I was fitted with this “mask”. Each day it was fitted over my head and locked in place. Fortunately, I’m not claustrophobic.
Because, in case you haven’t guessed by now, the cancer has indeed spread to my spinal cord, and from there it climbed right up into my brain all willy nilly, like it had been invited. I have three small tumors attacking and feeding off the base of my brain. (By the way, I did NOT send an invitation of any kind.)
Upon receiving this news I also was given a prognosis for the first time. If I refused treatment, I would have about 1 month left to live. With treatment, 3-4 months. And those are the full extent of my options.
I’ll let that sink in a moment. (Insert Jeopardy theme.)
Needless to say, as Caleb and I tried to let it sink in (which is impossible, in case you’re wondering (with or without Jeopardy)), we just cried and cried. And we entered into crisis mode once again. A new and even deeper crisis, as I’m sure you can imagine. Once again I am so beyond thankful that we have each other, and together we have Jesus.
I’m not sure there’s really more to say on the subject. Except that the doctors are very pleased with how I’m responding to treatment. I’ve had zero side effects to the new chemo they’re giving my brain through the new port in my head. The regular chemo is still working well enough to keep the cancer in the rest of my body in check. And if the doctors are pleased, so am I!
The next big thing for us is our cruise to Alaska. Did you know we’re going on a cruise to Alaska? For three reasons: 1. Our tenth anniversary was in May, and it needs to be properly celebrated; 2. Not knowing just how much time I have left when I’m well enough to travel, we decided it was time to do a bucket-list adventure; 3. A cruise was the most viable option considering my limited mobility. And a cruise to Alaska was near the top of that bucket list. We leave August 13 for 12 days! Just the two of us! I’m praying this “no side effects” thing holds on through our trip, because I’d really like to enjoy our trip, to have enough energy to get up every day and take in all that Alaska has to offer.
Please feel free to ask any questions that you might want to ask. I am open to even the hard questions. I am fully aware of my diagnosis, and no question will surprise or upset me.
And now a few pictures of the less dire kind.
Me and my handsome man.
My red Sydney Bristow wig. Because … why not?
Last day of radiation!
My three beauties on Easter.
On a recent mini vacation down to Newport. Everyone wanted to swim!
Hi Heidi – it’s been a long time & I don’t know if you remember me, but I wanted to let you know I’ve been following your journey and am praying for you.
I remember when I worked with Pam, before Caleb met you, and Pam was telling me how much Caleb wanted to settle down, but hadn’t found the right girl yet. Then came you! I got to hear how Caleb’s co-worker became his girlfriend, but no one at work was supposed to know, then how you two couldn’t keep it a secret anymore – and, finally all about a wedding being planned. And everything told by a very happy mother who knew in her heart that her son had found THE ONE. Indeed, he did. May you receive a miracle, Heidi. 💕
Heidi, I am wiping tears away as I read through this blog entry. . . such hard news. You are so brave and so strong and such a beautiful. . . BEAUTIFUL woman, wife and mom! I am continuing to pray for you daily. . . for healing- complete healing, for respite from the side effects and pain and for time, way more time than what they suggest. Asking that this sweet time away with your husband would be so special. 10 years is definitely to be celebrated! I do really love the red wig too! love you, Tammy
oh lord that you would give heidi continued reprieve from side effects. grant her and caleb a rich time away connecting with each other, with you and with your creation that cries out of your glory. give them your peace that passes all understanding and gives comfort outside of any circumstance. let them taste and see your goodness and may you be their true comfort.
I Love the RED Hair! You’re rocking’ it!
Thank you for sharing you, and your life story & challenges. You are such a beautiful testimony of encouragement, perseverance, and about your love of Jesus and the love of your family. I/we continue to lift you in prayer. May you continue to experience powerful Blessings, great energy and beautiful sights on your Alaska cruise. Your courage and great spirit is incredible.
Heidi, thank you for your honest updates and for sharing this journey with people who care about you and want to keep praying for you. Jim and I are praying for you and your family. Enjoy Alaska, and take it all in! We will be praying that you feel great the entire cruise.
You determined people are AWESOME!! We thank God you are there praying and saving lives every day. We pray every day at daily Mass for the success of the 40 Days for Life Campaign.God’s blessing on you all!Theresa and Louis Byers
Hi Heidi, I have to say, I’ve always loved your name! I remember when you were born, it was fun that you had the same name as our Heidi, who is about a year older. That’s made me always more interested in you down through the years. Thank you for sharing this post. It was so hard to read, but it also gave me a look into your heart and your humor. You sure are in my prayers, and so are your parents, husband and 3 little darlings! Wear the red wig – and enjoy Alaska! Love and prayers…
We pray for you every day in our house and you and your family are always on our hearts. We will be praying for a wonderful cruise to Alaska, and peace and joy in Christ, in the midst of suffering, for you, Caleb, your girls, and the rest of your family and friends. Love and Prayers!
I love you and am praying for you amazing Heidi. I’ve been wondering what’s up and am grateful for the time and energy you put into this update. And I am going to keep praying He heals you, despite all odds. As well as praying your Alaska trip is wonderful. You are a blessing. Pure and simple.
Heidi! My heart goes out to you. You are so brave and you have such a sweet spirit. May God bless you greatly during this trip with your husband. I pray that every day you are able to soak up the love your family and friends (and even people you’ve never met, like me) wish to share with you. God is so good. I pray you and Caleb have overwhelming peace during this crazy chaotic time. I pray that your example would leave a lasting impression on your daughters and people who have watched you go through this difficult time and your faith remains intact (and has probably grown). May your days left on this earth, whether 2 months or 50 years be joy-filled. ❤
Heidi..thank you for sharing your story, progress and diagnosis! And…your dream come true for an Alaskan cruise! I have so many questions but they are for God mostly! I’m so relieved to hear about no side effects! You are an amazing lady and I admire you so much! I’m praying for you and asking God for a miracle for you and your family! In His love, cindy
Thank you for sharing your update! Prayers continue Heidi! You go girl and enjoy Alaska! It is breath takingly amazing!
Your friends at Rose Publishing continue to lift you up in prayer. May the Lord give you comfort.
Sherri, Amy and I are truly amazed by your courage and perseverance. We have followed you through this difficult journey and for your whole family we have prayed and cried and laughed and seen how God has sustained you through it all. You have renewed my faith.
Heidi and Caleb, I am thinking of you both and praying for more time for you to be together. I doubt if you can answer any of the questions I have. They are all along the lines of “What the hell, God?” I am astounded by your gritty faith, and honesty. I’m praying for a very wonderful trip to Alaska, for peace and joy even in the midst of your unspeakable pain. Thank you for sharing this journey. You are teaching us all how to live.
Dear Heidi,
I am heartbroken I pray for a miracle for you! You are just AMAZING! Words seem inadequate. I am amazed by your strength, courage, and grace and I love your sense of humor! Lots of love and prayers for you!!
My dearest Heidi, yes, tears flowing from my eyes as well. I just read what I had so desperately didn’t want to hear for I have been praying for a miracle for you. You don’t know this, but I have come to care deeply for you as I have gotten to know my “son’s high school friend” through Facebook; and, more specifically through praying for you and following your posts, precious photos and blog. I want to tell you that I have not known any young woman quite like you. You are very, very, special in countless of ways. The mother that you are to 3 of the most beautiful and sweetest girls possible is beyond commendation. And, the obvious love you have for your amazing husband is pretty wonderful. However, your tight relationship with your Savior is something that shows how very real He is in your life. Thank you, sweet Heidi, for sharing so transparently your life with me and many others. You have greatly touched my life. Thank you for being true to who God made you. If it’s okay with you, I will continue to pray for that coveted miracle. God loves you and your family so much and will remain always near to all. (Can I give you a hug when I see you at church?) Love you in Jesus…
Dear Heidi! I just love the way you tell us all of this “news”- with such a sense of humor, and so much strength. I agree with all that’s been said. I wish there was something to do, something to say, or just something, but God knows…HE KNOWS…. I am thankful that he will carry you, Caleb, your girls, your parents, your siblings, and all of the people who are dear to you, through this “climb to the top of the mountain”. You indeed are loved, and cared for by so many. I admire you more than I can say, dear Heidi.❤️
Heidi,
I am so heartbroken with you to read this news! My dear friend, I have such fond memories of serving with you in “East Asia”, meeting at Jenny’s Cafe for coffee, traveling together in Thailand, and many other good times. As we were strolling around on the Great Wall, I never dreamed anything like this could ever happen. You always had a heart to share the love of Jesus with the world, and you have blessed countless people in your life with your humor, love for life, and sharing the good news.
.I am deeply encouraged by your continued trust in the Lord Jesus through this unspeakable pain. May He hold you and strengthen you and your family. We will be holding you up in prayer.
Lots of Love,
Cheri
p.s. I am sure you have probably already looked into alternative treatments or heard a ton about them, but there are some good things out there you can do in conjunction with chemo and radiation. No guarantees, but things like Budwig diet, apricot seed kernels, and Rick Simpson oil. I just want you to get better so badly!
You and family are in our daily prayers. Sending love and hugs to all. May God keep you and peace be upon you and your family.
-clinton family
Heidi, I just love you and so glad to read that you and Caleb are taking a cruise together!!!!!!! Enjoy and you both will be in my pray to have a wonderful.time. God bless you sweetie you have been through so much but just remember how many lives you have touched.
😇😇😇😇😇😇you truly😟Are an angel to me!!!! I love you!!!😇😇😀❤️💛💚😟
We’ve never met, Heidi, but I know your mother and father-in-law through our church here in Tehachapi. Praying hard for you, my sister in Christ, and your beautiful family. May God bring you healing, comfort and strength!
We went on an Alaskan cruise last summer…you’re going to love it!!
Heidi… Words cannot express what an inspiration you are in Jesus name. Your faith in Jesus, positivity, “not gonna let this hold me back” attitude…still believing that Jesus is a Good Father…WOW!!! It blows my mind! I haven’t seen you since high school but I don’t have to spend time with you to know what an AMAZING woman of God you are and how proud our Father is of his beautiful daughter! You and your family are in my prayers!
You are amazing in every way Heidi! The Sydney Bristow is an Alasken must! Love you, and I’m thankful to call you friend.
Tears are flowing and I am speechless. Do everything you can now together to create memories. I can’t image how you mom and dad are handling this as well. You girls look like you and have you in them. I am adding you to my church prayer group. Praying for a healing where God hits the ball out of the park with a healing from you head to toe. Sending you love and hugs.
Heidi, I have been silently following your story for a long time and praying for you, Caleb, your lovely daughters, and your parents. You are amazing in your humor, grace, faith, and courage. I wish you only good things on your cruise, and wear your red wig proudly! You are beautiful. Savor the moments, and may God bless each one of them.
What a strong and courageous shining light. Know you are very loved and well prayed for….
As tears run down my face I am speechless. I have followed your journey and I just don’t know what to say. I pray for you n the family. I pray for the girls n your parents. I let people know just how much you have Jesus in your heart and how strong you are. You are such an inspiration to me. I learn so much from your posts. I love the red hair. You don’t let things get u down. A smile is always on your face. Prayers Heidi. 🙏💙🙏🙏
I am so sorry to hear the news. You are the strongest woman, mother and wife I could ever imagine. Your girls are learning from the best. I will continue my positive thoughts and prayers. Enjoy your Alaska adventure. I have only heard great things about such a trip. Take care. ❤️
I’m so sorry Heidi. This is such hard news. You continue to astound me with your grace and courage.
I am in love with that red wig on you! Godspeed and many happy memories on your Alaska cruise.